TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO! "!! TEACHER : What are you talking about? PAPPU : Yesterday you said it''s H to O ! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America . PAPPU : Here it is! TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America ? CLASS : PAPPU! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"? PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" TEACHER : No, that''s wrong PAPPU : Maybe it''s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I". PAPPU : I is... TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am." PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?" PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time." *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father''s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn''t punish him?" PAPPU : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?" *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt ? FATHER : No. Why do you ask that? PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then? *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots ! PAPPU: Yes it''s really strange. I''ve got another pair just like that at home.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ? PAPPU: No sir, I don''t have to, my mom is a good cook. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother''s. Did you copy his ? PAPPU: No, teacher, it''s the same dog ! -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? PAPPU: A teacher
******************************* The prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after the attack on the Pentagon: " I''m sorry to hear about the attack. It is a very big tragedy. But in case you are missing any documents from the Pentagon, we have copies of everything."
============================================================ ========== Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept:
Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you.It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great bldgs... I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that........
Bush: What buildings? What people??
Msharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?
Bush: It''s eight in the morning.
Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour! ============================================================ ============ Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walk! s in and asks the barman, "Isn''t that Bush and Vajpayee?"
The barman says "Yep, that''s them."
So the guy walks over and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?"
Bush says, "We''re planning world war 3"
The guy says, "Really? What''s going to happen?"
And Vajpayee says, "Well, we''re going to kill 14 million
Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."
And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!"
Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, "See, I told you no-one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!" ============================================================ =========== Politician on the moon:
Q: What do you call 1 Politician on the moon?
A: Problem...
Q: What do you call 10 Politicians on the moon?
A: Problem...
Q: What do you call a 100 Politicians on the moon?
A: Problem...
Q:What do you call ALL the Politicians on the moon?
A: ...... Problem Solved!!!!! (on earth) *************************** Now it''s moral (funny) story time.
CASE 1:
When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the pens wouldn''t work at zero gravity (Ink won''t flow down to the writing surface).
In order to solve this problem, it took them one decade and
$12 million. They developed a pen that worked at zero gravity, upside down, underwater, in practically any surface including crystal and in a temperature range from below freezing to over 300 degrees C.
One of the most memorable case studies in Japanese management was the case of the empty soap box, which happened in one of Japan''s biggest cosmetics companies.
The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a soap box that was empty.
Immediately the authorities isolated the problem to the assembly line, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department. For some reason, one soap box went through the assembly line empty. Management asked its engineers to solve the problem. Post-haste, the engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution monitors manned by two people to watch all the soap boxes that passed through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked hard and they worked fast but they spent whoopee amount to do so.
But when a rank-and-file employee in a small company was posed with the same problem, did not get into complications of X-rays, etc but instead came out with another solution.
Moral of the story: ALWAYS look for simple solutions. Devise the simplest possible solution that solves the problem :-)
" So, learn to focus on solutions ,,, not on problems "
Unnecessary Complications are not a requirement - Live easy *****************************
This one is pretty gud one
A sardarni worte a letter to his son, who is staying away from home.
Pyaarey puttar, Vahe Guru. I''m writing this letter slow, because I know you cannot read fast. We don''t live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles. I won''t be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they wouldn'' t have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address Plate here, so that our address will remain same too.
This place is really nice.It even has a washing machine,situated Right above the commode. I'' m not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts,pulled the chain and haven''t seen them since.
The weather here isn''t too bad. It rained only twice last week. The First it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.
Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting The grass at the cemetery.By the way I took bahu to our club''s poolside.The manager is badmash. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in this club.We were confused as to which piece should we remove?
Your sister had a baby this morning.I haven''t found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don'' t know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your uncle, Jetinder fell in a the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out,but he fought them off bravely and drowned.We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfil His father''s last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he died.And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father.
There isn''t much more news this time. Nothing much has happened. Love Mom. P.S : I was going to send you some money but the * envelope was Already sealed.
********************************************** A Sardar, a Japanese and a Britisher were lost
in the desert. They were
driving around in a Jeep when it broke down.
Because they had nothing else,
they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep
as they continued their journey.
The Japanese took the radiator, the Britisher
took the seat, and our Sardar
took the door. After a while of walking the
Britisher asked the Japanese
"I''m confused, why did you bring the radiator?"
The Japanese responded,
"If I get thirsty, I can drink the fluid."
Next our Pappaji asked the Britisher
"Why did you bring the seat?"
So the Britisher said "If I get tired,I am not going to
sit on the sand. I can sit on this comfortable seat."
Finally the Japanese asked our Hero why he had
chosen the door. The Sardar quickly responded to this question, "Well, when
it gets hot all I have to do is roll down the window." ****************************************************** A Sardar''s response to the comment, "THINK about it!" : "I don''t have to think-I''m sardar!" ******************************************************
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop." Customer "Ok." Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" Customer "No." Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?" Customer: "Sure, you told me to write ''click'' and I wrote ''click''."
Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message." Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?" Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
=============================================== Customer:: "I''m having trouble installing M*cro$oft Word." Tech Support:: "Tell me what you''ve done." Customer: "I typed ''A:SETUP''." Tech Support:: "Ma''am, remove the disk and tell me what it says." Customer:: "It says ''[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk''." Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk." Customer:: "What?" Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?" Customer: "No..."
================================================ Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?" Tech Support:: ?!%#$
================================================ Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the ''OK'' button displayed?" Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
================================================ Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?" Customer:: "A white one."
================================================ Tech Support:: "Type ''A:'' at the prompt." Customer:: "How do you spell that?"
@What is the difference between 70 ''s BIKINI & 90''s BIKINI? ANS:- In the 70 ''s you had to pull down the BIKINI to see the ASS! In the 90''s you have to pull the ass to see the BIKINI !
**********************
@ CONFUSIOUS SAYS....... " Rape is impossible because, women with their skirts up can run much faster than men with their pants down;
**********************
@ Women like GOLD more than MEN because............... GOLD has 24 carrots & MEN have only one !
**********************
# MEN''S TOP SEVEN LIES....
7. I am Single 6. We will only talk in the room.... 5. You wont get pregnant.... 4. Buttons only not bra.... 3. Won''t insert IN..... 2. Will touch only with finger..... 1. I love you.!
**********************
%%What do tornados & women have in common ? ANS:- They both make a lot of noise when they are coming & take every thing when they are going.
**********************
&& WOMAN: Sir please teach me how to play golf. COACH: Ok! Now..... hold the club as if you are holding your husband''s penis................................... No No take the club out of your mouth!
**********************
$$$ A man goes to a shop and asks for a condom. "What size sir?" asks the sales girl. "I do not know" replies the man. "Can you put out the penis so that I can feel the size sir?" she asks. The man puts his small thing out. She grabs hold of it and tells the assistant "Get me a small sized condom.......... no, medium sized condom............. no a large......................... no an extra large...................... SHIT get me a tissue first!!!! ...
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